I’ve just finished reading Declan McCullagh’s interview with Verizon VP and Associate General Counsel Sarah Deutsch about why the big telecom companies appear to be on the same side as civil-libertarian groups like the EFF in opposition to new copyright legislation. There are a lot of great sounding words that come out of Ms. Deutsch’s mouth during the interview, like “Fair Use.” We’d be fools to think, however, that this seeming alliance is anything but a marriage of convenience. Why are the telecoms taking this stance? One word - money.
That isn’t necessarily an evil thing; in fact, in this case, it may be a good thing. It may mean that at last some significant money has entered the game on the side of curtailing further copyright encroachments, wielded by people who no how to use it, as the technology industry so clearly doesn’t. Telecoms are old hands at Washington infighting, and we could make use of their resources and expertise.
In the end though, this unholy alliance has the smell of the alliance between the West and Stalin during WWII, and will probably end the same way. The telecoms aren’t really out for the same thing the civil libertarians are, and as soon as the telecoms know they have what they want, there’s no more alliance. Hopefully, the cure won’t end up being worse than the disease by the time all this is said and done.
While I was reading (and my blood pressure was going up thinking about the scum in Hollywood and their corrupt politician lapdogs), I was struck by an inspiration. Civil libertarians are opposed to Hollywood because they want to strip us of our rights, correct? Would any of us actually miss Hollywood if it were gone? Really, wouldn’t most of us be just as happy without the crap that passes for film and music these days? So, if Hollywood were gone, that’d clear up a whole host of problems, right?
Now, at the same time, one of the big beefs the Islamic fundamentalists (and the French) seem to have with the U.S. is this self-same crap that the sewer called Hollywood spews out over the whole world. The Jihadists and lots of other folks rant on about “American Cultural Imperialism” all the time. Obviously, they want Hollywood gone as well. If Hollywood was gone, might not a major cause of discontent with the U.S. disappear, too?
So, if Hollywood was gone, not only would that go a long way toward preserving essential American liberties, but it might also improve the perception of the U.S. on the world stage, as well as defusing some potential terrorists. Is that a great two-for-one bargin, or what?
But wait, there’s more! Another big problem looming on the horizon is President Bush’s overpowering desire to smash things and break stuff. He wants to have a war with Iraq, but we all know that’ll just make a bigger mess. I have the perfect solution - persuade Bush to attack Hollywood! He gets to have his war, the Islamists get rid of a major irritant, the civil libertarians get rid of a big chunk of the copyright fascists, and without Hollywood’s pablum being forced down their throats, people all over the U.S., no the entire world would be forced to read a book or go to a play or listen to live music for a change, which has got to be good for somebody.
The icing on the cake, of course, is that an attack on Hollywood would certainly be cheaper than a war with Iraq. You know the Europeans would agree to support us. The increased demand for reading material and musical instruments might very well be enough of an economic stimulus to boost us out of the doldrums.
And finally, Hilary Rosen and Jack Valenti would be out of work. That alone should be enough to convince most people to back my idea.
